Fergie v Rafa MC Batttle

[PlasticRoyale]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEFYb9Ni ... _embedded#!

RAFA
I want to talk about fachts, because I think it's important. I don't want to play 'mind games' too early. But I think that they want to begin. It's a question of facht, it's not a question of spin - I got a list, here's the order of my list that it's in:

This is fact – Mr. Ferguson’s above the law
He was mean to Mike Dean, he called his mum a whore
So he got a fine, and was banned from the touchline
Then he swears at Martin Atkinson, so now it’s crunchtime
And what happened? Nada – he is not punished
Why? Maybe cos he’s not Spanish?
This is facht – Steve Bennett transformed the season
He sent off Mascherano, for an awful reason
But he totally ignored the handball for Wigan
And that’s the game that Manchester secured the league in.
This is facht - he complains about the fixture list
When in facht it’s in his favour that the list is fixed
They play the 29th at home, it’s a Christmas gift
We play the 28th away, and he thinks it’s rigged!
Maybe next year the FA leave the fixtures blank
So that Mr. Alex Ferguson can pick the matches
But for me, I say I had enough, I need to act
Cos these are not mind games - these are fachts.

These are fachts.
These are fachts.
These are fachts.
These are not mind games... I am talking about fachts.

FERGIE
[Into phone] I spoke to the boy earlier and he said he wanted to come - there’s no doubt about that - so if Levy’s not having it, I say we just kidnap him and peg it up the M6. What? No, I’m in a restaurant. Aye, that Spanish one, El Fiasco. No, it’s shite.
Right, I’ll have to catch ye later... I can't hear you cos of some ranting waiter -
What’s that Rafa, you think I’m gonnae back down?
oxf*rd that - I’m gonna put the smack down.

Just listen to yourself with your random “fachts”
You’re like oxf*rd Quincey crossed with Andrew Sachs
It’s obvious you’re launching all these mad attacks
In a desperate attempt to withstand the axe.
Right, fact – you’re season’s done
Right, fact – we’re thirteen in front
You’re fat – I don’t mean to be blunt
But have you thought about a diet, you greedy oxf*rd?
Your title bid’s looking wee bit stunted
You’ll probably make a bid for Robbie Keane next month
And this might not be a fact, but it’s an even punt
You’ll blow twelve million on Stephen Hunt.
You’re no playing football, you’re playing freefall
Belhadj scored against you, and so did a beachball
So you go on the telly, and shout about facts
You’ve oxf*rd lost it - there’s no doubt about that.

There’s no doubt about that
There’s no doubt about that
There’s no doubt about that
Oh, there’s absolutely no question about that, in my mind.

RAFA
Okay this time you go too far
It’s gone past mind games – this is war
And this is facht – you've spent much more
That’s why you’re doing better, it’s the luck of the draw
My judgement is good, the situation is bad
I don’t have the funds to invest in the squad
It’s easy to mock, but all the critics forget
That I never get a penny from Hicks and Gilette
But we’ll turn the corner, our season starts here
It's a five year plan, starting next year
And in five years time, when my work is done
We see who is the winner, Mr. Ferguson.
This is facht - when I was winning La Liga with Valencia
You already suffered from senile dementia
You're getting old, like Ben Kenobi
But I don’t have a single grey hair in my goatee
I am more sophisticated, tactical and technical
Plus – this is fact – I’ve got bigger genitals
I’m generous and charitable, decent and magnanimous
I’m nicer to the kids – this is facht – and to animals
I rescued a llama - there, that’s another facht
Plus I had your mama, so that’s your oxf*rd motherfacht.

These are fachts
These are fachts
These are fachts
These are not mind games… I am talking about fachts.

FERGIE
So you got no cash? – aw do us a favour
You spunked five million on Lucas Leiva
You’ve spent more than us, far more than the Gooners
On the likes of Sissoko, El Zhar and Nunez
Gonzalez, Dominguez, Fernando Morientes
And all the other hordes of random foreign benders
That’s why you failures and far below us
It’s all them Aurelios and Arbeloas
That’s why you’re waving this long goodbye:
Cos in five long years you’ve made one good buy
Yeah well done, mate, you got the boy Torres in
It don’t make up for Barragan and Josemi and Voronin
And Carragher’s knackered, Aquilani isn’t ready yet
And you’re still the manager, and you’re a oxf*rd idiot.

RAFA
So you think you can be making a fool of me?
Well you underestimate Liverpool FC
When I walk through the storm I hold my head up high –

FERGE
Yeah right, but only when it’s raining pie
Right, speaking of which, I’ll have the paella
Hang on, is that a dish, or another rubbish player?
Like Padelli, Paletta, Pellegrino…
Ah oxf*rd it, Rafa, just get us a cappuccino.
Off he waddles, a dipper in distress
He gestures to the players, he gibbers to the press
Lambasting me with ‘facts’ like a madman in an attic
Bombastic crap, part depressive part manic,
A fat Hispanic spastic in a flapping great panic
Ah here’s the bill – Rafa, do you take plastic?
Oh, what, I hurt your feelings - do I give a shit?
You really are the whingiest, whiniest git
And no, I’m not leaving you the tiniest tip
'Cos you'll just spend it on shite, and then recite me a list.

There’s no doubt about that
There’s no doubt about that
There’s no doubt about that
Oh, there’s absolutely no question about that, in my mind.

[Holding Out Hope]

Funniest thing i've seen in a long time