From F365.com

[Terminal Boardom]

Apols to everyone who has seen this but... certainly the funniest thing I have read in ages

From oxonmoron: 'Watching Colchester can be dismal and it's usually pretty uneventful, but last night I had the most bizarre and disturbing evening I can remember. As Paul, the bloke I normally go to games with, was working, I arranged to sit next to 'Clive' (not his real name), someone to whom Paul introduced me a couple of seasons ago and whom I've met a few times since. You get a lot of blokes like him at lower league football - mid 40s, scruffy, slightly dribbly. Last time I saw him, about six months ago, he told me he'd just split from his wife. I think I know why...

'I took my seat at kick-off and wondered where he'd got to. A couple of minutes into the game, I absent-mindedly stepped aside to let a woman take her seat, my concentration being on the game. Only when 'she' said "No, that's my seat" did I recognise the voice and realise it was "Clive", wearing a long chestnut-coloured wig, an excess of foundation, which didn't quite cover the 5 o'clock shadow, and a vat of cheap perfume. He'd hastily painted his nails, but in a concession to normality was wearing his Colchester United shirt, albeit stuffed with who knows what to create the impression of tits.

'Once I'd got over the (considerable) shock, I began to wonder about how this must look to all the other blokes sat round us - "Oh dear, I don't fancy yours much" "Oh, you make a lovely couple" and all that. I found it quite hard to concentrate on the game.'

[Kitson12]

Brightened up my day.

[Silver Fox]

the funniest thing I have read in ages