Feedback on a new football blog?

[GSY-Royal]

Hi guys, not sure how welcome this is here but figured I should just go for it.

I'm currently taking my A-levels, and am hoping for a career in journalism in the future. I started this blog as a sort of portfolio, and would appreciate any feedback.

http://thehollywoodpass.wordpress.com/

I've received a fair bit of positive feedback so far, including an editor at a local paper, and the editor of my local team (Guernsey FC)'s newsletters and head of the supporters club.

I just figured you guys would be far more willing to rip it to shreds if need be, and not feel the need to be nice about it.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, or prohibited altogether, I looked and couldn't find anything to suggest it was.

Thanks very much.

[LoyalRoyalFan]

Looks a good'un.

How did you become a Reading fan if you don't mind me asking?

[GSY-Royal]

Looks a good'un.

How did you become a Reading fan if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks mate.

My dad lived in Reading for a few years when he was about 15, and went to games at Elm Park. When we were over visiting relatives near Newbury, I was probably 9 years old, he took me to a couple of games, and I was hooked from then on. First ever game was Preston at home in 03(?), we won 5-1, Forster scored a hat trick if I recall correctly. I come over for one game a year (West Ham at home this year), but flights are too expensive to do so more regularly. It's safe to say that proximity to the Mad Stad is influencing my Uni choices!

[LoyalRoyalFan]

Looks a good'un.

How did you become a Reading fan if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks mate.

My dad lived in Reading for a few years when he was about 15, and went to games at Elm Park. When we were over visiting relatives near Newbury, I was probably 9 years old, he took me to a couple of games, and I was hooked from then on. First ever game was Preston at home in 03(?), we won 5-1, Forster scored a hat trick if I recall correctly. I come over for one game a year (West Ham at home this year), but flights are too expensive to do so more regularly. It's safe to say that proximity to the Mad Stad is influencing my Uni choices!

What university choices would those be? (again, don't share if you don't want too)

[GSY-Royal]

Looks a good'un.

How did you become a Reading fan if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks mate.

My dad lived in Reading for a few years when he was about 15, and went to games at Elm Park. When we were over visiting relatives near Newbury, I was probably 9 years old, he took me to a couple of games, and I was hooked from then on. First ever game was Preston at home in 03(?), we won 5-1, Forster scored a hat trick if I recall correctly. I come over for one game a year (West Ham at home this year), but flights are too expensive to do so more regularly. It's safe to say that proximity to the Mad Stad is influencing my Uni choices!

What university choices would those be? (again, don't share if you don't want too)

Really haven't narrowed it down too much yet, hoping to do a journalism course and would like it to be somewhere in the south, that's all I really have. Living in Guernsey makes it hard to plan visits etc, so hopefully I'll be going to visit some at the start of the summer, then I can really decide which ones are right for me.

[Starfish]

I think it's fine to put up links to your blog here - you're certainly not the first person who has done so.

I found it easy reading anyway - when I was doing A-levels (or the equivalent), I was certainly not able to write in such a fluent journalistic-style (I am still not able to, in truth). Well done. If I was to offer one word of criticism (and my criticism is not worth much, believe me), I would say that I found the opening sentences a bit long. The first paragraph is basically one line and I would have broken it up somehow. Having said that, I am not sure if that is the way people are encouraged to write these things now - if so, feel free to ignore me.

Keep up the good work anyway.

[GSY-Royal]

I think it's fine to put up links to your blog here - you're certainly not the first person who has done so.

I found it easy reading anyway - when I was doing A-levels (or the equivalent), I was certainly not able to write in such a fluent journalistic-style (I am still not able to, in truth). Well done. If I was to offer one word of criticism (and my criticism is not worth much, believe me), I would say that I found the opening sentences a bit long. The first paragraph is basically one line and I would have broken it up somehow. Having said that, I am not sure if that is the way people are encouraged to write these things now - if so, feel free to ignore me.

Keep up the good work anyway.

Thanks for the feedback - that hadn't crossed my mind at all, but in hindsight it does seem quite long-winded. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Stuka]

I like the page layout and the text is uncluttered. Also the content is very professionally written. My only advice would be to try and find interesting underreported football stories that may have slipped under the reportage of the usual media- just to give the blog a bit of a distinction.

[Blue Hooped Moose]

Perhaps add more of your personal opinions to the articles - the "Promotion only the beginning for Reading FC" article regurgitates a lot of what is already available on the internubz and it's not until the end I really get any feel for your thoughts.

Good start tho' - keep it up.

[pea]

As I said on RR, I found it to be well written.

But in response to some of the comments here, are you aware of the inverted pyramid model (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_pyramid) It would be good to try and write more in that style as it is (apparently) preferred in the industry because it allows an editor to shorten the article easily by cutting out content from the bottom up until the article is the length they think it should be.

I only know of it in terms of writing for web so I might be contradicted by someone with journalism experience but its worth practising.

[Wimb]

Looks good to me, blogging is a great way to keep up writing skills and to experiment with what works for you and how you like to write.

If you fancy writing some stuff for The Tilehurst End feel free to drop me a PM!

[pea]

Looks good to me, blogging is a great way to keep up writing skills and to experiment with what works for you and how you like to write.

If you fancy writing some stuff for The Tilehurst End feel free to drop me a PM!

The only opinion that really matters

[Wimb]

Looks good to me, blogging is a great way to keep up writing skills and to experiment with what works for you and how you like to write.

If you fancy writing some stuff for The Tilehurst End feel free to drop me a PM!

The only opinion that really matters

Of how not to do blogging perhaps

[Extended-Phenotype]

As I said on RR, I found it to be well written.

But in response to some of the comments here, are you aware of the inverted pyramid model (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inverted_pyramid) It would be good to try and write more in that style as it is (apparently) preferred in the industry because it allows an editor to shorten the article easily by cutting out content from the bottom up until the article is the length they think it should be.

I only know of it in terms of writing for web so I might be contradicted by someone with journalism experience but its worth practising.

Personally, I find nothing worse than reading an article constructed from a template.

Everything's gotta be templated nowadays. Why can't people spend some f/cking time on anything?

Regards,
<insert name here>

[GSY-Royal]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I am on the lookout for interesting subject matter to report on, perhaps the situation of football in Argentina, there's been a fair bit of chaos lately, or the match-fixing scandals that are ongoing in Turkey. I'll try and include some more opinion, and I'll definitely give that inverted pyramid structure a go.

[pea]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I am on the lookout for interesting subject matter to report on, perhaps the situation of football in Argentina, there's been a fair bit of chaos lately, or the match-fixing scandals that are ongoing in Turkey. I'll try and include some more opinion, and I'll definitely give that inverted pyramid structure a go.

Have a look at the cup final in Australia, ref gave the matchwinning penalty five minutes into stoppage time after a striker (Besart Berisha, who used to play for Burnley I think) tripped over his own leg trying to kick the ball in the box. I think he broke some sort of season scoring record in that game too as he got both goals.

[GSY-Royal]

Thanks for the feedback guys. I am on the lookout for interesting subject matter to report on, perhaps the situation of football in Argentina, there's been a fair bit of chaos lately, or the match-fixing scandals that are ongoing in Turkey. I'll try and include some more opinion, and I'll definitely give that inverted pyramid structure a go.

Have a look at the cup final in Australia, ref gave the matchwinning penalty five minutes into stoppage time after a striker (Besart Berisha, who used to play for Burnley I think) tripped over his own leg trying to kick the ball in the box. I think he broke some sort of season scoring record in that game too as he got both goals.

I like the sound of that - really interested in football all around the world, I think that'll make a good article.

[GSY-Royal]

Not strictly Reading related, but something which will be surely affecting the majority of us this summer:

http://thehollywoodpass.wordpress.com/2 ... gland-job/

[GSY-Royal]

I've made a lot of changes to the layout, purchased a domain and added some new features to the blog. Just tried to smarten it up in general. Content isn't flowing as quickly as I'd like it to be, however I have my AS-levels over the next 10 days, and there will be a lot more content after that.

http://thehollywoodpass.com/

Any thoughts guys? Constructive feedback is appreciated.

[GSY-Royal]

Looks crisp and clear, well laid out and easy to navigate. Good work.

I haven't had time to read much of the content but liked the guest written article. Shows that its more than just one man offering an opinion on too broader subject.

I think it would be a good idea to niche down in to one country/league or one subject matter such as corruption.

Thanks for the feedback mate.

That article is the first guest-written one I've published, I recently decided that I was limiting its potential by restricting the reader to solely my own views. There will be more to come.

Over the summer we'll definitely be focusing on the Euros, and then most likely the Premier League season when it gets back into swing.