Football face palm thread

[stealthpapes]

His record up to 2010 is actually really solid. Goal every 3 games, in a support striker role.

It's like he's a dipstick for the club's woes.

[genome]

His record up to 2010 is actually really solid. Goal every 3 games, in a support striker role.

It's like he's a dipstick for the club's woes.

That was six years ago, when the club were decent.

Since then he's hit 34 in 180 games all comps (0.18pg) which is poor

[stealthpapes]

It's like he's a dipstick for the club's woes.

All I'm trying to say is that he had enough about him to still be a very good player.

[genome]

It's almost as if all the nights out, booze, laughing gas, shisha, and kebabs have affected his ability to be a Premier League footballer :

[6ft Kerplunk]

TBF, if I was used to the likes Milner, Young and Downing setting everything up nicely for me I'd turn to booze if they were sold and not replaced.

[TBM]

Not sure why people are saying the keeper was match fixing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoCMJRvlJoo

[genome]

Not sure why people are saying the keeper was match fixing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoCMJRvlJoo

Quite similar to the GIF from the previous page

[TBM]

Not sure why people are saying the keeper was match fixing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoCMJRvlJoo

Quite similar to the GIF from the previous page

Conspiracy

[Sanguine]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3i0q2n4rZ8

Bizarre pre-match Haka from a fake 'AC Milan' team to promote Nivea, before their game vs Carpi.

[genome]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36115814

I think we need a ViLOLLOLa thread.

[genome]

Missed this

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/201 ... onship-xi/

[Vision]

Missed this

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/201 ... onship-xi/

Telegraph might want to get the name of Matthew (sic) Dawson right before they point the finger too much tbf..

[stealthpapes]

This has 'terminated by mutual consent' written all over it.

He's notably been "sick" on match days a few times over the years, after being spotted by fans in clubs/pubs the night before. Apparently it's well known by other clubs and why Villa have never got shot of the bloke.

[genome]

Fulham hold a "Picnic on the Pitch" event



The most middle class club in existence.

[George_]

Oxford having a parade showcasing their 2nd place trophy..

[Vision]

Not sure where to put this but I guess this is as good a thread as any.

Seems Frank Lampard is as popular in New York as he is in East London.

http://ftw.usatoday.com/2016/05/frank-l ... ls-history

Frank Lampard is the worst signing in MLS history.

This isn’t even a particularly hot take at this point. It’s not an original thought. This is consensus.

Lampard is a Designated Player for NYCFC and in two seasons with the club, he’s played just ten games. He hasn’t seen a minute of action this season, and it’s not clear if he even has a timetable for his return this year.

How did we get here? How has this been such a catastrophe? Let’s go back to the beginning and follow along the timeline of the worst signing in the league’s history.

JULY 2014

MLS announces that Frank Lampard has signed a Designated Player contract to join expansion team NYCFC, which is set to begin play in 2015. Lampard was set to join David Villa as the two faces of the franchise as it embarked on its professional journey in New York. There is much rejoicing.

AUGUST 2014

One month after announcing that Lampard had signed with NYCFC, Premier League giants Manchester City announce that Lampard will be joining their team on loan until the start of the MLS preseason.

Manchester City and NYCFC are both owned by City Football Group, so the loan isn’t very surprising to fans. The clubs say that Lampard will return to the MLS club for its inaugural game.

JANUARY 2015

After Lampard starts earning playing time with Manchester City, and manager Manuel Pelligrini expresses interest in keeping him with the Premier League side, City Football Group admits that Lampard never signed a contract with NYCFC, and thus was never actually “loaned” to Manchester City.

The club issues a statement admitting they lied, but call it an error: “The statement on the NYCFC website in July saying Lampard’s two-year contract took effect from Aug 1, 2014 was a mistake. [The] initial statement on City’s website that it was a loan was also an error.”

It turns out that Lampard had only signed a contract with the ownership group, City Football Group, who could decide where and when he played. NYCFC fans are understandably upset.

JULY 2015

After the conclusion of the Premier League season and some time off to rest, Lampard officially signs with NYCFC … but comes into the team injured. He sits out a month recovering.

AUGUST 2015

Lampard finally makes his debut performance for NYCFC as a substitute. He goes on to play in 10 matches, scoring 3 goals in a season that saw NYCFC miss the MLS Cup Playoffs.

NOW

Lampard has not played a minute in this MLS season, missing 10 consecutive games with what was originally described as a “calf strain.” NYCYFC has three wins so far this season, and currently sit in fourth place in MLS Eastern Conference. With a team already loaded with midfielders, it’s not clear who Lampard would replace in the starting lineup.

The BBC also announced this week that Lampard would provide analysis for the network’s coverage of the Euro 2016 tournament this summer … right in the middle of the ongoing MLS season.

This is a slap in the face to NYCFC fans — Lampard is making around $6 million this year, and he will spend some of his summer as a TV analyst for a European tournament.

So there you have it: A $6 million Designated Player managed to insult and lie to the team’s fans, miss half a season, underperform, and then launched a TV career while missing ten consecutive games. And that’s how you become the worst signing in MLS history.

[Mr Optimist]

Maybe if John The Legend Terry goes to the MLS he could get together with his old chums and form a new MLS franchise team. The Chelsea Pensioners.

[paultheroyal]

Oxford having a parade showcasing their 2nd place trophy..

Fair play to them and they deserve some recognition.

[Mr Optimist]

Oxford having a parade showcasing their 2nd place trophy..

Fair play to them and they deserve some recognition.

I agree. Plucky non league minnows making it all the way to the third tier of English football in just five seasons, real Roy of the Rovers stuff.

[Ark Royal]

Oxford having a parade showcasing their 2nd place trophy..

Well played, Headington Utd.